the law of love

I’ve got my heart broken so many times i’ve stopped keeping track. I am a person who always tries to see good in people, someone who always wants to believe that there is more good than bad and let me tell you something, only when i learned that you can’t change certain things or can’t affect certain things and how others act is when i realized that just because they have broken your heart it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person.

We live in a generation where we hide our feelings, we all try to be as cold as possible so we don’t get hurt. But is it worth it? Is it worth living a life without love just because we are scared of what might happen?

But first what does this word “love” mean? No it’s not just posting couple pictures on social media, it’s not just having eachother names in Instagram bio.

It’s the feeling of comfort and security. It’s knowing you have someone who makes you feel so happy that no matter what happens you feel at peace because you have that one person.

It’s screaming and fighting, fighting for the love, fighting to solve the problem because throwing away what you have is not an option.

It’s falling asleep in eachothers arms, it’s waking up and starting your day with a kiss. It’s dancing together, it’s making eachother laugh.

It’s motivating eachother to build a life that’s gonna make you happy induvidually but also as a couple. It’s believing in one another to make your dreams come true.

It’s having the mutual support. It’s compromising about certain things, it’s trusting.

It’s building a life together, it’s spending time together but also giving eachother space.

It’s two individual lifes that match together.

It is so hard to find something like that nowdays, don’t ask me why. I guess people are satisfied with one night with different people instead of every night with the same person.

I guess people don’t value the secrecy of love anymore. We hurt other people so we don’t get hurt, we push away others so we wouldn’t be pushed away. We don’t take risks anymore, we don’t fight for something when we want it anymore.

And no you don’t necessarily need another person to feel complete and live a happy life, your happiness depends only on you. But i’ve been single now for 3 years and i have built my life completely alone, i’ve done things alone, i’ve learned how to enjoy my company, i have learned so much about myself but let me tell you something i do miss having someone who’s gonna hold me after a long bad day.

I do miss having a comfort of knowing that there is someone out there who’s gonna care about me and who’s gonna accept me with all my flaws and insecurities.

It’s not about finding a perfect person, it’s about accepting someones soul, it’s realizing that they are gonna have bad days, that it’s not always gonna be rainbows and butterflies, that it’s not always gonna be 50-50 that sometimes it’s gonna be 80-20 but that it’s worth fighting for it.

And yes even i do lately crave love i am not settling for anything less that i deserve and nor should any woman or man do that.

Figure yourself out first, learn about yourself first, be alone for some time and love will find you, it will match you with someone who fits you like a glove.

And then my dear the magic is going to happen.

back to winter

I don’t know why but i was never really a fan of wednesdays and thursdays. I never really figured out why or what was about these days that make me feel anxious.

And while i see women in all kind of outfits, summer dresses, reyban sunglasses, jimmy choo sandals i feel like i miss winter.

There is something about winter that gives me comfort i don’t know if it’s the big sweaters, the blankets or a warm cup of tea. Maybe it is because i am a winter baby.

Don’t get me wrong i love summer but i love summer only when i’m on the beach drinking cocktails. There is just something about starbucks dates, cozy sweaters, christmas that makes me happy.